Changing Seasons
Last week I had to make the tough decision to leave Raleigh Distance Project (RDP). Over the last year or so my personal struggles became too much and I was losing a big part of who I am. In 2015, at my very first Oiselle Bird Camp, I stood on the stage as a part of the Haute Volee in front of a sea of incredible women who made up part of the Volee. We were prompted to introduce ourselves and say what we hoped to get out of running. I still remember my answer: “To make a difference in the lives of others.” It may seem that running is a silly small part of a much larger life but I have always truly believed that the gifts we were given are meant to be used to make the world a better place. No matter how small our gifts are, that is our purpose and that is the path to the greatest happiness.
As things began worsening for me over the last year, I noticed this part of me no longer present. A sense of failure, constant worry, and heightened awareness of what people thought of me was getting the best of me. I was second-guessing everything, having days where my anxiety was consuming me, and I wasn’t reaching out to friends because the exhaustion of depression and anxiety was getting in the way. I realized it was time to do what I needed to do for me and unfortunately that meant letting go.
There have been some real highs that I have felt being a part of RDP. Seeing teammates hit big PR’s, qualify for the trials, and see what they are capable of, has been so rewarding. I have felt what we are doing really impacts the women that make up this team. Ultimately I couldn’t ask for more than that. As I leave these ladies, I hope that they keep that spirit alive to keep fighting for themselves and other women. I hope that they keep staying true to themselves and remember why they keep pursuing their #RunLove.
As for me, I will continue to train hard and chase goals. I have goals of hitting the 10k OTQ Standard on the track as well as reconnecting with the greater running community. I will also take this time to build up my coaching business, working towards making that a full-time career. I already have so many ideas in the works and can’t wait to see what will happen next. Much love to all!
XO,
Andie